Gasp…Only Child Syndrome!

Last week, I took my son to one of his first actual playgroups.  Not from lack of trying, but as a working mom, most of the playgroups I was interested in attending were during daytime hours while my husband and I were both working.  Since quitting my job a few months back, and it’s starting to warm up, it’s one of the things I’ve looked forward to the most as a Stay-at-Home-Mom.

Seeing the world through your child’s eyes is such a surreal experience.  While observing my sweet boy (who is an only child at this time) work through shyness, exhibit apprehension and ease into the excitement and joy of meeting other babies/people, it’s made me reflect on my own life as an only child.

Being raised with married parents, I felt as though I was the center of their world.  They made every moment about our family time, including their wedding anniversary–my mom always bought a present for me as well–and I was included in celebratory dinners, outings etc.  I felt loved, safe, and like my role in our small family unit was important.  I was given the gift of a lot, whether material, or otherwise.  But make no mistake, I did not receive every little whim I so desired nor did my rewards come without work.  A common misconception is that only children are spoiled, as if it’s a bad thing.  Yes, if you turned out to be a brat and an asshole, then…However, the upside of being an only child is that the bond with your parents is like no other.  You’re the center of their time, energy and focus.  My adult relationship with my parents was also amazing, and I felt that for the most part, they had a great understanding of who I am as a person.  I trusted them with my fears, hopes, failures and aspirations.

The downside of being an only child?  Trust issues.  It’s amazing to me how I’ve heard through casual talk that solo kids feel as though the world owes them something.  It’s quite the contrary for myself.  My parents taught me to be strong and independent which is a good thing, but on the negative end of the spectrum, I trust absolutely VERY few.  I have a difficult time asking for help–even if I really need it.  I rarely open up, it always slaps me in the face somehow.  Prime example is this blog…

I had been going a few months before I decided to share my site with my friends and family.  Why?  It wasn’t from shyness, I’m not a shy person.  But even sharing something as personal as a blog for me is a BIG step as I’m simply quite private.  It’s a method of self-preservation and protection.

I sent out a mass text and I can absolutely count on one hand the number of responses, congratulations and/or support I have received.  People fail to realize that a simple follow–it’s as easy as putting in your email address–means a ton to a new blogger.  Everyone constantly shares articles, texts and otherwise in the cyberworld about celebrities, gossip, etc, but isn’t it amazing how the people that should be your biggest supportors won’t share a link to your blog?

My experience with life has been that you sometimes receive the biggest outpouring of support from “strangers.”  So for that, I say thank you! 🙂

All things considered, how would I sum up my life as an only child?  Pretty damn awesome.  Yes, my parents passed away a few years ago, and I miss them more than I can even form into words.  But, I suspect, I would miss them just the same if I had a sibling to share my pain with.

I was so blessed to find my soulmate at a young age, who is also an only, and understands exactly where I’m coming from.  Only God knows if our son will follow the same path , since my husband and I have struggled with infertility (see previous post about our conception struggles).  However, at the end of the day, I’m enjoying that one-on-one interaction with my baby boy.  I love that he’s the center of my universe, and that I am the center of his.  It’s amazing how one little soul can change the course of your entire life….

baby.jpg

Yours,

Fashionably Meek

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Gasp…Only Child Syndrome!

  1. JJheartblog

    Thanks for sharing this! I come from a family of six girls, so I don’t understand what it would be like to be an only child. This was super insightful! Currently my baby is an only child. We have such a bond together. My husband and I hope to have more, but we are enjoying every single moment with our little one right now!! It is such a blessing to be a parent.

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. Kathleen Morrison

    Well said my friend. You know how I feel about the only child syndrome. I decided to have one child- felt a lot of pressure from family but held fast. One was all I could handle ! I felt I could not give as much attention to more than one. I’m not very good at expressing myself this way but I had to say how much I enjoyed reading this and love the way you express yourself. Well done !

    Liked by 1 person

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