Freaky Friday: The Proof Zombies Really Exist!

Freaky-friday-movie-logo
We may laugh, we may cry, we may curse.  It may be thought-provoking or a much-needed no-brainer after an intense work-week.  Freaky Fridays are all about a change of pace, oddities, or simply off-topic posts.  So let’s get started!

So, are you ready for the Zombie Apocalypse?  I am.  I’ve got my shit together!  And, the nice girl that I am, I’m going to make sure you do too!  Therefore, my contribution to you is going to be to compile the information required for you to make an informed decision–the decision that Zombies really exist! I’m going to give you 5 good reasons…

zombies

 1. Did you know?the origin of the Zombie resides in the Afro-Caribbean spiritual belief system of Vodou, which told of the people being controlled as laborers by a powerful wizard. 

Wade Davis, a Canadian ethnobotanist, presented a pharmacological case for zombies in two books, The Serpent and the Rainbow (1985) and Passage of Darkness: The Ethnobiology of the Haitian Zombie (1988). Davis traveled to Haiti in 1982 and, as a result of his investigations, claimed that a living person can be turned into a zombie by two special powders being entered into the blood stream (usually via a wound). The first, coup de poudre (French: ‘powder strike’), induced a ‘death-like’ state because of tetrodotoxin (TTX), its key ingredient. Tetrodotoxin is the same lethal toxin found in the Japanese delicacy fugu, or pufferfish. At near-lethal doses (LD50= 5-8µg/kg), it can leave a person in a state of near-death for several days, while the person continues to be conscious. The second powder, composed of dissociatives like datura, put the person in a zombie-like state where they seem to have no will of their own. Davis also popularized the story of Clairvius Narcisse, who was claimed to have succumbed to this practice. There remains considerable skepticism about Davis’s claims, and opinions remain divided as to the veracity of his work, although there is wide recognition among the Haitian people of the existence of the “zombi drug”. The vodoun religion being somewhat secretive in its practices and codes, it can be very difficult for a foreign scientist to validate or invalidate such claims.” http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Voodoo_zombie

2. Remember “bath-salt guy?” The asshole who ate off someone’s face? Well apparently, he may not have been on the salts after all.  Why the hell else would you eat someone’s face?  Zombie.  Duh.

Authorities may never know why a Florida man viciously attacked and chewed on the face of an older homeless man in Miami last month after lab tests failed to find components of “bath salts” in the system of the assailant, who was killed by police. The tests detected only marijuana in the system of the attacker, the medical examiner said Wednesday, ruling out other street drugs that some had speculated 31-year-old Rudy Eugene might have taken. An expert on toxicology testing said marijuana alone wasn’t likely to cause behavior as strange as Eugene’s.”  http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/06/28/man-who-chewed-on-other-face-not-on-bath-salts/

3.  Even the CDC is ready.  Would the CDC lie?  Never.  “The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Never Fear – CDC is Ready

Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared
Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared

“If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas.” http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/

4. So remember when your ass was scared to eat a Big Mac from Mickey D’s?  3 words.  Mad. Cow. Disease.mad cow disease“Health officials have confirmed that eight neurosurgery patients at a hospital in New Hampshire “may have been exposed” – unwittingly, of course – to Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD). Apparently, ordinary sterilization of surgical instruments is not enough to kill the prion proteins of CJD. As a result, at least 8 patients – and possibly up to 13 – were exposed to the prion disease.  Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD) is literally the human analogue of “Mad cow” disease in animals, and can affect the brain in ways that even the sickest of scientific criminals wouldn’t dare play lightly with in the laboratory. It has even been speculated that CJD, alone or with genetic modification – could cause something similar to a “zombie outbreak”. As Cracked notes:

In the movie 28 Days Later, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow’s spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.

And, when humans eat the meat …

How it can result in zombies:
When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:

  • Changes in gait (walking)
  • Hallucinations
  • Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
  • Muscle twitching
  • Myoclonic jerks or seizures
  • Rapidly developing delirium or dementia” http://truthfrequencyradio.com/neurosurgery-patients-exposed-to-human-mad-cow-disease-in-n-h/

Uh, yeah, so that’s scary.

5. The fifth and final reason that we know that Zombies exist is…(DRUMROLL PLEASE)….

Cause Rick Grimes told us so, dammit!  And what Rick says, goes.  His word is law in my book.

ARE. YOU. PREPARED?

obama

Undated FX Handout Photo from The Walking Dead. Pictured: Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln). See PA Feature TV Lincoln. Picture Credit should read: PA Photo/Gene Page/AMC. WARNING: This picture must only be used to accompany PA Feature TV Lincoln.

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